the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
