Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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