Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
