Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
