i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
