I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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