make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How naked do you want me to be?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
