The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
