i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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