one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
