It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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