YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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