Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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