You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
