if i can run in heels then i can drive
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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