And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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