I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
