How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
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Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm bleeding and have questions
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