what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
