dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize