Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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