Well apparently he's into motor boating.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
50% drunk capacity currently
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
