Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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