I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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