we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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