He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
