i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
