their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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