just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
