i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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