i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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