why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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