So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
