White coat. Heels.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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