i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
