Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
