you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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