You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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