I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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