I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
A bitchslap is in order.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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