I'm passing your future prison.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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