Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
did i just pee glitter
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
