I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he shaved USA in his pubs
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
