nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
