Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
