Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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