dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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