other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
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We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
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We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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