forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
