I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
