she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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