I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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