So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
