Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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