Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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