And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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