She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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