Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
