Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
