I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
