Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
