Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
