He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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